I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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