If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
