Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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