too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
