I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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