we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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