I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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