He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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