She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
