I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize