I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My vagina is officially offended.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
