i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
