You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
