It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
