oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you would pick up someone in the library
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
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this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
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Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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