That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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