Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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