I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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