2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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