I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
