everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
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I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
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What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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