My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
