I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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