yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
