if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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