the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
