GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
