No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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