I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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