Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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