I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize