Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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