im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my being single is dangerous.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
