Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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