end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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