Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
