I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
