definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You are the jesus of drinking
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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