the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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