Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
