He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize