the room spins SO much faster in panama
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
