The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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