I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
