he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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