i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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