Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
