I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
