Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
