well you can't waste a boner
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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