just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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