and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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