He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
