Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
