i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
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You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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