she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have aggressive nipples.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize