You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
