Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
