well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
