Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
