woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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