And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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